It's been a while since I posted a rant. Here goes something that's really eating me inside out right now...
I've always thought that my difference made me unique. But I can't deny the fact that it makes me paranoid and jealous at times, too. Why do I say so? Here's why:
We went out drinking, me, the bf, and some other friends. We moved over to a friend's house because there were free drinks and I thought I was going to work there. As the night progressed, things were going as usual. Booze, stories, poking fun at a specific person in the drinking group. This is how our regular drinking sessions go about.
Then out of the blue, the bf comments, referring to the host, "____, gumagamit ka ba ng Chapstik? (___, do you use Chapstik?)" Surprised, the host answered, "Yeah, why?" Jerk-O asks, "WTF? Baket ka nakatingin sa lips niya? (Why are you staring at her lips?)" To which he answered, "Wala lang, it's shiny."
It was a pretty valid question that unnerved me. I didn't add to it in fear of embarrassing the host. It is, after all, her place that we crashed.
I did, however, see a change in the host's face that kind of said she felt conscious at the offhanded comment and the fact that he was, indeed, looking at her lips. She shifted topics. I felt uneasy, but didn't say a word. Everybody dropped the topic and went on drinking and listening to music from the host's iPod. I wanted to ask the bf, "Onga, ba't ka nakatingin sa lips ni ___? (Yeah, why were you looking at ___'s lips?)" But I kept my mouth shut.
A bit later, the host starts dancing sexily, showing off her dancing prowess. I find myself unable to stare at her dancing for long periods of time. Jerk-O starts focusing on the SkyFlakes Brute brought in as pulutan, to avoid watching her dance. But the bf focuses on her dancing - smiling, watching her sway her full hips to the music.
When it was time to go, another remark came out of his mouth. He said, "Marunong pala sumayaw si ___ (I didn't know ___ can dance)." I was pretty surprised at the discovery as well, so I said, "Onga e (Yeah)." But that nagging thought still won't go away:
Why were you staring at her red lips and watching her throughout her dance?
Should I be worried?
I don't know if I should ask you. You might think I'm shallow. What the heck?! I probably am.
So I'm not as rich, pretty, classy, and graceful like the others. I'm insecure, so sue me.
I actually need to be up by 730am so I can pick up my paycheck at the office. But since I'm not done with one article, I can't go to sleep yet. Then there's the debut we need to go to in the afternoon, the gig in Highstreet, and then my brother's move to help with on Sunday (tomorrow). What the fuck?!
I've always thought that my difference made me unique. But I can't deny the fact that it makes me paranoid and jealous at times, too. Why do I say so? Here's why:
We went out drinking, me, the bf, and some other friends. We moved over to a friend's house because there were free drinks and I thought I was going to work there. As the night progressed, things were going as usual. Booze, stories, poking fun at a specific person in the drinking group. This is how our regular drinking sessions go about.
Then out of the blue, the bf comments, referring to the host, "____, gumagamit ka ba ng Chapstik? (___, do you use Chapstik?)" Surprised, the host answered, "Yeah, why?" Jerk-O asks, "WTF? Baket ka nakatingin sa lips niya? (Why are you staring at her lips?)" To which he answered, "Wala lang, it's shiny."
It was a pretty valid question that unnerved me. I didn't add to it in fear of embarrassing the host. It is, after all, her place that we crashed.
I did, however, see a change in the host's face that kind of said she felt conscious at the offhanded comment and the fact that he was, indeed, looking at her lips. She shifted topics. I felt uneasy, but didn't say a word. Everybody dropped the topic and went on drinking and listening to music from the host's iPod. I wanted to ask the bf, "Onga, ba't ka nakatingin sa lips ni ___? (Yeah, why were you looking at ___'s lips?)" But I kept my mouth shut.
A bit later, the host starts dancing sexily, showing off her dancing prowess. I find myself unable to stare at her dancing for long periods of time. Jerk-O starts focusing on the SkyFlakes Brute brought in as pulutan, to avoid watching her dance. But the bf focuses on her dancing - smiling, watching her sway her full hips to the music.
When it was time to go, another remark came out of his mouth. He said, "Marunong pala sumayaw si ___ (I didn't know ___ can dance)." I was pretty surprised at the discovery as well, so I said, "Onga e (Yeah)." But that nagging thought still won't go away:
Why were you staring at her red lips and watching her throughout her dance?
Should I be worried?
I don't know if I should ask you. You might think I'm shallow. What the heck?! I probably am.
So I'm not as rich, pretty, classy, and graceful like the others. I'm insecure, so sue me.
I actually need to be up by 730am so I can pick up my paycheck at the office. But since I'm not done with one article, I can't go to sleep yet. Then there's the debut we need to go to in the afternoon, the gig in Highstreet, and then my brother's move to help with on Sunday (tomorrow). What the fuck?!
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