Friday, August 22, 2014

Resolve

That is something I do not have.

Before you came by, I was hell bent on making you feel like shit because you make me feel like shit.

But you came around and flashed me that smile.

Suffice to say, I folded.

I succumbed to your boyish charms and felt happy that you were here.

For that, I admit that I am stupid.

For that, I admit that I am weak.

For that, I admit that I am crazy.

Stupid for just forgetting how crappy you make me feel when we don't speak.

Weak for not being able to stick to my decision to no longer be friends with you.

Crazy for finding myself weirdly content with just your presence in the room.

Resolve.

That is something I do not have.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The look...

It's always that look that you give me right before we part ways that get to me. It's the same one you gave me today. First, when you sort of hesitated to get on the bus. Second, when you were actually inside the bus and I waved goodbye.

You look like you're lost and you wanted to change your mind and stay with. But maybe that's just me assuming. Maybe that's just me hoping that that's how you feel. Anyway, I almost ran up the bus to ask you to just ride with me. But I didn't.

Kinda makes me wish that I did.

But why should I?

Saturday, September 21, 2013

To be remembered...

Knowing that 2 days from now, the team that I last handled will have to be passed on to a different trainer for the remainder of their product training, it got me thinking about whether they'd like me better than their new trainer.

I mean, I'm not saying I want to compete against someone who knows more about the product than I do. Not only is she more knowledgeable, she's also super pretty. Like, model-ish pretty. 

NOW HOW AM I GOING TO COMPARE TO THAT?

But seriously, it got me thinking... how do I want my trainees to remember me as?

Do I want to be etched in their memories as the friend or the trainer?

Do I want them to trust me or learn from me?

Do I want them to confide in me or look to me for answers?

Do I really want to think of these things? Is thinking that they'll take the new trainer more seriously and like her better, ummm, petty?

If you were a trainer/mentor/teacher, how would you like to be remembered?


Friday, September 20, 2013

Bad vibes

On my way home, the wait wasn't that long compared to the normal 20-30 minutes of staring at nothing while the jeep is filled up. Swerte, sabi ko sa sarili ko. Things were looking fine until we almost hit a truck that did a sudden stop because of a pole that got knocked down by a white car that jumped the divider. The electric wire was still connected to the pole so the truck almost caught the line.

Soon enough, we were able to get past that hurdle. The truck was able to go around the roadblock and so did we. But when we reached Valle Verde (some number, I forgot which one), we almost got hit by a truck that lost its breaks. The truck hit 2 white vehicles - a taxi and a while L300 delivery van - grazing the left side and pushing them out of the way.

It's a good thing that the lights turned green and we were able to speed away from the truck. I could still hear the sound of the truck hitting the cars. IT COULD'VE BEEN THE JEEPNEY I WAS RIDING!!!

Feeling Final Destination ang drama ko ngayon. Nerbyosa lang! lolz

Lord, keep all of my loved ones safe, k? Kahit yung di ko loved ones narin. Thanks.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

When Push Comes To Shove...

...you cram. lolz

I'm just glad I was able to squeeze in all the topics for the language training before the evals on Monday. Hopefully, I'll be able to help out with the evals so that I wouldn't have to wear out Val so much. Haha.

Anyways, product training is about to start and I'm still not sure if I'm doing things right. This is so not my forte. lolz. Okay lang, HP classes are about to start. I'll do my best there. :)

Rest day. I haven't gone to sleep. Hung out at the operations area and went sight-seeing. lolz.

TIME. WELL. SPENT.

Enough said. :D


Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Perks(?) of Being A Trainer

Wait.. hold up.. are there perks of being a trainer?

Well, the salary increase is okay. The flexible time when you don't have a class thing is okay. The people I work with are okay. What else?

I think that's it.

It's those damn, horrible deliverables that get to me.

Tonight, in the faculty room, both Curbick and I had problems with the journal. The damned thing kept crashing. It wouldn't even let you save a damn thing. Instead of finishing the deliverables in under 2 hours, it took me about 3 hrs to finish everything.

Also, another thing would be the lack of stations. If only they'd think of installing MS Office 2007 on ALL of the PCs inside the faculty, life would be good. We wouldn't need to queue up for working stations.

Everybody gets to get home in time.

Just my 2 cents worth. Blah!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

A letter to the little one.

It's been 2 years since I lost you, little one. I haven't really gotten around to getting you back with me again, but hopefully, when I get the chance, you'll find your way back to me. If ever you're enjoying your grandpa's company up there, you can stay there and send another angel my way to keep me company.

I keep thinking of how things would've turned out if I hadn't lost you, if you hadn't left. But there's no point thinking about that now, is there? We all, just gotta keep moving forward, yes? Worry not, I'm doing good. Missing you, but doing good nonetheless.

Just remember that I loved/love/will love you. Forever, babe. I'll see you up there in the future. :)